Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Things I Shouldn't Have to Clarify

Hey kids!

Lately, I've witnessed some practices that I think need to be addressed and abolished for the well-being of mankind.  I can't believe that I have to put these things in black and white but I am happy to do it since no else seems to.  Thanks for indulging me. :)

To the naked girls on campus:  Your boobs go inside your shirt and your butt goes inside your shorts.  Neither your chest nor your posterior should look like they've been stuffed into any kind of cotton or denim sausage casing.  Also, please do not wear a bra that fluffs your boobs up so high you can rest your chin on them and then proceed to complain about how every man in a 3-mile radius is staring at your chest.  

To every teacher, student, coworker, friend, family member and random dude at the gas station:  For gosh sake, PLEASE stop telling me how much or little you have pooped that day.  Seriously.  That's what your mommy is for.  I am not a doctor, nurse, gastroenterologist or any other kind of "poopologist", so do me a favor and take your bowel-related troubles elsewhere.


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